On dating apps, it’s natural to feature your best qualities and most attractive photos. You get more likes, messages, and dates this way.
But is quantity more important than finding the right match? (Someone who accepts all of you?)
Do you want to waste time messaging and dating prospects who are bound to disqualify you, and leave you feeling rejected?
Why Not Filter Them Out, And Focus On Prospects Who Will Accept You?
Take me for example; I’m not the most masculine guy. Growing up, I only spent one day a week with my father. He never taught me to play sports, wrestle, or fix a flat tire.
Since nobody taught me masculine activities, and my mom was a feminist, I became feminized. I also became a vegetarian.
In my 30’s, I started cultivating my masculine side… for example, learning to lead on the dance floor. I also bought platform boots so I could appear taller. (Without them, I’m 5’7”.)
But I still wasn’t masculine enough for many women. What’s more, paying for everything all the time didn’t appeal to me. (I imagine some readers gasping right now… LOL!)
When I dated women who wanted a masculine man, I ended up feeling rejected. I made it mean I was not good enough.
In time, I came to accept my masculine/feminine balance. As part of this self-acceptance, I decided to feature it in my dating profile. Like this:
I have a balance of yin and yang. I’m sensitive, soft spoken, and you can feel my heart. I’ve also led men’s circles, led people I hired, and will lead you on the dance floor.
Along with this change, I stopped messaging women who expressed a preference for “masculine men”, no matter how attractive they were.
And guess what? After making these changes, all of the women I met online accepted this part of me.
Some even preferred it – including my soulmate, who I met on Bumble in 2020. That’s why I’m encouraging you to do the same.
So What’s a Quirk or Shortfall That Narrows Your Appeal?
Do you have a different body type than most models and celebrities?
Have you chosen a low-paying livelihood because it fulfills you?
Do you smoke tobacco or marijuana?
If so, don’t hide it. By featuring it on your dating profile, you can demonstrate self-acceptance, filter out the wrong prospects, and protect yourself from feeling rejected.
Nobody’s perfect. So why pretend to be?
If you want to find the right match – not waste time messaging and dating the wrong people – then stop trying to appeal to everyone. Instead, narrow your appeal.
